I’ve already notched up a few ‘first time’ experiences during the course of this milestone year; competing at Chatsworth horse trials in May was another.... our first CCI3* and my first time competing at the spectacularly picturesque venue in Derbyshire.
As ‘first times’ go it went relatively smoothly, but in terms of the grand scheme (Blenheim this Autumn) it didn’t quite meet the necessary criteria. In order for the master plan to succeed, Bow and I need to achieve one qualifying score at Advanced level (completed at Weston Park) and one at a CCI3*.... and having come so close to pulling it off, I confess that the sense of achievement at having completed my first 3* was marred by the disappointment of having collected an avoidable 20 penalties x-country.
We completed a satisfactory dressage test; as always there was room for improvement. My nerves, which don’t usually affect me in the first phase, caused Bow to become a bit tight. As a result we completed an under par performance to score 56.5 – respectable but not our best. Watching the show jumping in the main arena the following morning made me feel sick with nerves; when the pros have several fences down it inevitably makes me feel the sense of occasion even more intensely. Trying desperately to banish any self doubt and put our blip at Withington behind me, I told myself firmly, ‘It was just an anomaly.... he won’t make the same mistake again...’. Bow didn’t warm up very well but we managed to jump our round with only two poles lowered; the relief was immense. Not our best round, but certainly not our worst either.
Saturday night had been a restless experience, I don’t sleep very well in the lorry anyway but with my mind replaying the course on a continuous reel... my worries intensified and fences were magnified... particularly the fourth and fifth – two huge box hedges on a curving line.... A second course walk early that morning helped to put everything back into perspective although being early on, I was unable to watch how it rode.
My renewed confidence was soon challenged by the commentator whilst waiting at the start, ‘...and there has been a fall at the fourth fence causing a hold on course ....and unfortunately we hear of a stop at the fifth for....’ both horses I knew had form at two star level.... I couldn’t help but wonder if Bow, or I for that matter, were up to the challenge..... I supposed I’d know soon enough.... what was it Chris had told me? Something along the lines of ‘...if you reach fence six then you’ll know you’ve got a 3* horse underneath you....’
.... By the time we were flying the fifth I’d left the nerves behind me and began to enjoy our round.... Bow was a bit green at times but seemed more overawed by the crowds than the fences so I stuck to my game plan at the brush corner; situated at the base of a steep bank I knew I needed to have him listening to me so at the top I applied the brakes...only on this occasion Bow responded too literally and broke to a trot.... unclear as to what I wanted... I tried desperately to kick him back into action but with our momentum broken the entire question became ambiguous and we trickled past the fence.....damn! Negotiating the alternative successfully I galvanised myself to put it behind me and we completed the course without further incident..... but that familiar elation on passing the finish eluded me as disappointment quickly overrode any sense of achievement....
Watching others opt for the long route after many problems at the same fence did little to assuage my frustration.... on the long journey home I couldn’t help but beat myself with a battery of ‘if only’ scenarios. But at least I know one thing.... I do have an amazing 3* horse and more importantly, we survived to fight another day... an awful lot to be thankful for in such a game of chance.....
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