January always seems to drag its heels through a fog of cold, dank darkness. I always struggle to lift my spirits above the depressing emptiness which follows the festive social frenzy; with only the crumbs of the Christmas cake, the hazy memories of friends and family and what was once a chocolate mountain reduced to a remnant, every day seems like an effort.
But with February just around the corner, I am fending off the winter blues with thoughts of the imminent start of the eventing season – only six weeks away and counting. Poised upon the brink of a new phase of my ‘new life’, I feel a new optimism for the year ahead. Without the demands of teaching my stress levels have diminished along with my anaemia. Purely coincidence? Surely not.
Looking back, I was living on adrenalin as I tore myself in too many different directions. That can not be a healthy state to exist in. So without that pressure? I have more energy, am more relaxed and feel happier. I have more space in my mind to put things into perspective, no longer overreact about trivial problems and have more time to think about what I’m doing and how.
Apart from the book (nearly finished – still no agent!) the competition season is my main focus. Riding lots of different horses has given me a greater edge of confidence; I am riding more consistently and with a far greater feel. New challenges are exciting rather than terrifying. Self doubts are replaced more quickly by positive thinking and self belief; those distant goals seem somehow more obtainable.
My new life style has enabled me to fit in more training, more practice and more fun; with the luxury of flexible time, it all seems more manageable. I now have time to think about how I ride my own horses, more time to put theory in to practice and more time to enjoy them. Consequently they are both on very good form. We’ve been out to a few shows and performed well; we’re already looking forward to the next. Although we’ve already had some highs and lows this season, I’ll be taking each day as it comes and keeping things well in perspective. Bow Roger and I are definitely ready for the off!
