When I was a twenty-something, 40 seemed positively ancient. If anyone had asked me back then what life could be like beyond the age of 39, I’d probably have mumbled something about anyone who got ‘that old’ being incredibly boring, aged, out of touch.... I can just hear myself saying dismissive things like ‘people over 30 think that making a fashion statement is like buying a new pair of velvet slippers or a paisley dressing gown....so un-cool..’ I just couldn’t imagine being that old. But now that I’ve passed the milestone I honestly wouldn’t turn back time and put myself back in my youthful self.
Whilst a few less wrinkles and a little more flexibility would be good, why would I want to return to that penniless, paranoid, precarious time of life? The decade when I tortured myself through a turbulent love life, struggled with self-critical shame, vacillated over the variety of vocational routes open to me and tolerated a long queue of overly zealous advisors. The fact is, I don’t really feel any different than I did in my twenties apart from having become more my own person; or, as some might argue, more like my mother.
No, I really do think that despite the fact that it can be more difficult to mobilise my overworked body in the mornings, I’m happier now than ever. Having stepped off the teaching treadmill, I am living the dream and loving every minute of it; it has to be said that working outside in the amazing weather we’ve been having recently, certainly makes it feel more like a holiday!
Maybe I am experiencing some kind of mid-life crisis but I’m incredibly lucky to have many things during this stage of flux in my life: a wonderfully supportive, loyal and lovely husband who is letting me live my dream; two amazing horses who I’m living it on; an extremely tolerant trainer who facilitates my equine aspirations; many very understanding and supportive friends (one of whom made me the cake pictured here!).
This critical combination of factors must be working because I’ve already achieved two critical check points within a month of passing the major milestone: the first draft of the ‘book’ is finally complete... all I have to do now is get it published - no problem there then! Bow and I also recently and successfully, completed our first advanced event....taking us one adrenalin fuelled step closer to Blenheim..... Who knows what else I, or as I should say, we, can achieve in my milestone year? At the moment anything seems possible.....
